You know you’re over 50 when…

More and more, I get daily, if not hourly reminders that I am over 50.  I don’t like it, but as my mother says, the alternative isn’t so hot.  So in the vein of Jeff Foxworthy, here goes.

You know you’re over 50 when:
  • going to the pharmacy is part of your regular errands.
  • loud music in cars stopped next to you at a traffic light annoy you, especially when they are drowning out NPR on your radio.
  • doctors all look like Doogie Howser, except the ones that look like Barbie.  And you actually know who Doogie Howser is.
  • hair is growing in places it doesn’t belong, but you hardly care because you can’t see it when you look up close in the mirror.
  • speaking of mirrors, the kind that flips between normal and magnification?  Now they are always on the magnification side.
  • a wardrobe change means changing between an array of different eyeglasses for different purposes.
  • your knees make a weird crunching sound when you go up stairs.
  • cats like to sit on your lap because you don’t move much once you sit down.
  • the AARP has killed a tree or two trying to get you to join.
  • a drug test concerns you because you have to actually list all the prescribed drugs you are taking and you might forget something.
  • while waiting at the dentist’s office, you pick up Architectural Digest instead of People.
  • speaking of People magazine, you don’t even know the people on the cover.
  • a Saturday night of board games with friends makes you tired and ready for bed.
  • all the “fun” drugs make you sick to your stomach.
  • you can remember not only what a slide rule looks like, but how to use it.
  • you drive a car that cops don’t look twice at.
  • getting pulled over at a sobriety checkpoint is interesting, but you worry about the balance test because you recently had knee surgery.
When I think of more, I’ll add them on.  I need to stop now and take a nap.

About Purrkitten

I have a wide range of interests, but not a great deal of depth in any of them. So here I share just a smattering of my random thoughts, mostly for my own amusement.
This entry was posted in fun, HEALTH. Bookmark the permalink.

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