The past week or so, I've been writing nearly every day.  Now I know what it takes to silence me:  a choking wall of fire and smoke.  No, we didn't have the fire licking right at our door, but it wasn't all that far away either.  Maybe about 6 or 7 miles from here.  We have a wide open area about 1/2 a mile from our property that we keep an eye on any time the fires start to make sure any errant sparks don't send it up in flames.  And it held this time.  The worst we got was the awful smoke and ash falling like light snow.  Yesterday morning, the sky looked like a volcano had erupted:


I found out that no matter how warm it was out side, wearing flip-flops was a bad idea because ash is very dirty:



Although I am not always glad to be living so close to so many people, I guess I am glad I am not living in the foothills.  I really do feel bad for those people.  I can't imagine what they are going through.



It was a day to be grateful for what we have.

      

I've written a lot about Prop 8, and I spend a lot of time Googling news stories about it.  I'm reading quite a bit, and it saddens me that people on both sides of the issue are getting more and more worked up, calling each other names - and nothing is getting resolved.

Yesterday, the daughter of the owner of a restaurant in L.A., the El Coyote, who had donated $100 to the "Yes on 8" campaign invited the GLBT community and press to the restaurant to try to resolve the issue.  It didn't go well because she didn't apologize and the protestors basically said that the boycott was on.  This much was reported by the major news sources.  However, by digging into blogs of people who were actually there, I found out more (why do I have to dig so hard for this?).  The manager of the restaurant (who is openly gay) said that the restaurant would donate $10,000 to GLBT organizations.  This is a small restaurant whose employees depend on it for their livelihood.  With the large donation they are making, and if the daughter would agree to give up her management position with the restaurant, I would think that would be good enough.  Let's not be mercenary.  But apparently the protestors weren't satisfied.  I'm not really sure why not.

Likewise, whoever sent the envelopes to the LDS temples in L.A. and Salt Lake City with unidentified powder in them needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  If they have anything to do with the prop 8 protest, I am appalled.  This is simply taking things way too far.

I've been reading blogs, and comments about news stories, and so many people think it is okay to lose common civility in the virtual world.  Calling each other stupid, ignorant, haters, whiners - and so many other awful names - I can't participate in these diatribes.  I simply won't play.  If someone wants to engage in a thoughtful, rational, and polite discourse, I will be happy to do so.  Otherwise, go fight with someone else.

So tomorrow is the National Protest Day.  So let's all be civil about it, okay?

      

I had an interesting discussion yesterday with someone about proposition 8.  I never was clear as to how she voted.  I got the impression she didn't vote on it one way or the other because she simply didn't understand the issue well enough.  I think she does now.  Before we talked, she said "isn't there something for gay couples like a marriage?  Why do we have to call it marriage?"

My answer to her was a clear and unequivocal NO.  The state of California has a legal arrangement called a domestic partnership, but it is not the same as a legal marriage for several reasons just based on my limited experience.  Let me share:

1. If you are married, most employers will extend benefits to a spouse.  Not nearly as many employers extend benefits to domestic partners.  I'm lucky - my partner/wife's employer does have benefits that cover me, but that isn't true of many domestic partners.  Consider the dynamic in a domestic relationship when both partners must work simply to have health benefits.
2. Marriage extends Social Security benefits to spouses that don't extend to domestic partners.
3. Just because a domestic partnership in California is supposed to have the same legal status as a marriage doesn't mean that all government agencies know how to implement this.  Case in point:  my partner and I (before we married) recently called the tax assessor about adding my name to the title of her house and the tax ramifications of this.  They didn't know if domestic partners were treated like spouses (they are), and we were referred to the research division.  I had to be on the phone for nearly an hour to get the right answer.  The point is being married makes the answer easy; a domestic partnership is confusing, even to the government agencies who apply the laws.
4. When we travel, we carry a packet of papers with us that contain health care directives and power of attorney in case something happens to one of us.  I know this is a good idea for anyone, straight or gay, but it is really important when we travel to other states that don't recognize our legal relationship.
5. Last, and certainly not least, the feeling that I got when I took the vows of life commitment to her was not the same as signing a domestic partnership agreement.  Standing in front of someone and declaring a life commitment puts perspective on the relationship and pulls on the heart like nothing else.

After our discussion, I think she got it.  And I'm sure this just scratches the surface.  I wish I had had the chance to talk to her before the election.  Maybe I'll get another chance.

      

I just received my regular newsletter from my state assemblymember, Michael Duvall, district 72.  Honestly, I was appalled.  He has really irked me in the past, but this time - well, see for yourself:

PROPOSITION 8 CONTINUES TO CAUSE A STIR

With the results of the California propositions less than a week old, thousands of protestors have already hit the streets across the state in anti-democratic opposition to Prop 8, a constitutional amendment that says marriage consists of one man and one woman in the State of California. Prop 8 passed with 52.5% support.  Coupled with the results of the presidential election in California, it is clear that Prop 8 enjoyed broad, bipartisan support.

Roughly 11,000 gay couples have been ''married'' in California since the State Supreme Court overturned Prop 22. Although Prop 8 will outlaw future same sex marriages in the state, Attorney General Jerry Brown has decreed that gay couples ''married'' prior to the passage of Prop 8 will retain their legal married status.  Chances are a final disposition on the matter will be brought about by the courts.

This week, cases are being brought before the State Supreme Court to rule Prop 8 unconstitutional. As a supporter of Prop 8, I will be among the state legislators committed to defending California voters' definition of marriage.

Activities of the California Supreme Court can be monitored at //courtinfo.ca.gov/courts/supreme

Honestly, I was so upset, I could hardly speak for a moment.  I googled until I found his email address, and shot off this reply:

Regardless of your position on proposition 8, to say that the protestors are participating in "anti-democratic opposition" simply flies in the face of this great country that we live in.  All people have the right to free speech, regardless of their opinion.  For you to suggest otherwise, especially as a member of our state assembly - frankly, it's appalling.

Just so you know, I am one of your constituents who is among the 11,000 couples you are now referring to as "married".  I'm not sure why the quotes.  I am as married as you are.  I have the license to prove it.  As a state legislator, you should be committed to defending those of us who are married, and our right to free speech.

I invite you to write to this particular assemblymember and let him know how you feel: 
Contact Michael Duvall

      

This Saturday, November 15th, is a national day of protest against the passage of prop 8.  If you don't feel inclined to participate, maybe this little piece from the LDS Church will help prod you into action:

Church Issues Statement on Proposition 8 Protest

---

SALT LAKE CITY 7 November 2008 The Church issued the following statement today:

It is disturbing that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is being singled out for speaking up as part of its democratic right in a free election.

Members of the Church in California and millions of others from every faith, ethnicity and political affiliation who voted for Proposition 8 exercised the most sacrosanct and individual rights in the United States — that of free expression and voting.

While those who disagree with our position on Proposition 8 have the right to make their feelings known, it is wrong to target the Church and its sacred places of worship for being part of the democratic process. [emphasis mine]

Once again, we call on those involved in the debate over same-sex marriage to act in a spirit of mutual respect and civility towards each other. No one on either side of the question should be vilified, harassed or subject to erroneous information.

Because they feel it is wrong to "target" their churches, that makes it so?  When looking through their various media statements, so many of them have declarative statements such as this that the reader must take at face value.  I have news for the the LDS church - your leadership encouraged your membership to back this discriminatory initiative.  Your church membership all across the nation responded like no other organization in both money and time spent to successfully spread untruths about the consequences of this proposition.  So no, it is NOT wrong for us to go to your door step with our message that we will not be silenced.  We will be heard until the basic right of marriage between two consenting individuals of any gender is permitted in civil law.

I finally found a site that has a well organized list of the protests planned for Saturday.  It is evolving by the minute as the details are hammered out, but here is the website.  Please plan on attending one near you:

http://jointheimpact.wetpaint.com/

And finally, if you need to know why we fight this good fight, watch this video from MSNBC:

Keith Olberman Prop 8 Special Comment

      

Things are continuing to heat up.  I'm getting all kinds of information, and as I get it, I want to post it for everyone.

Here is a website so that you can do your own queries to find out who has donated to both sides of the Prop 8 campaign by state, city, and zip code.  I encourage you to do so.  I did for my area, and I have discovered some small businesses in my area that I will avoid.

Prop 8 Donors Search

Also, please notice the new link on the sidebar "Prop 8 Dishonor Roll".  This is a list of major donors to the "yes" effort.  You may be surprised what you find.  I for one am going to print it and make sure I refer to it and not do business with these people - and let them know why.

For those of my friends who live in Long Beach - and other parts of the Los Angeles area - beware of El Pollo Loco & Denny's.  Turns out that the President and CEO of many of the Southland locations of these restaurants was a contributor to the "yes" effort ($6000 worth).  His name is Roland Spongberg and his company name is WKS Restaurant Group.  To find locations to avoid, go to the company website:

WKS Restaurants

Update:  I got an email from the Corner Bakery Cafe corporate offices.  WKS Restaurants currently have no California franchises of Corner Bakery Cafe and none are planned.

I also found a blogger who has listed all the El Pollo Loco's to avoid (thanks Faith!).  Her blog is:

El Pollo Loco Restaurants to Avoid

As I get more information, I'll post it here.

      

Okay, I need to lighten up.  I think I've already mentioned that I have an election hangover, but I am spending too much time brooding over the Prop 8 results.  And Googling stuff (particularly about the major donors to the "Yes" campaign), but now I want to make a concerted effort to lighten up, just for my own sanity.

• I have mentioned that when the chips are down, I eat mac & cheese.  Prop 8 passed - mac & cheese is currently being consumed in my household at a record rate.  Interesting correlation that I'm sure the social scientists never could have anticipated.
• Prop 2 passed which is the initiative for the humane treatment for farm animals.  Now don't be saying I'm comparing gays to animals, but did the state of California just give humane treatment to farm animals and take rights away from human citizens?  Does anyone see a mac & cheese event here?
• I also eat string cheese when I'm frustrated and tired.  I've been working nights for the last few weeks, so the string cheese is disappearing fast.  And I'm constipated from so much cheese.  Frustrated and constipated:  not a good combo.
• Okay, just for shits (I wish) and giggles, you gotta go to the LDS "newsroom" (google "lds newsroom") and see some of the propaganda they have produced about gay marriage and prop 8.  First of all, it's hysterical watching videos of older straight guys in suits who need liposuction and diets talk about "same sex attraction" like they even know what they are talking about.  Again, a major mac & cheese moment.
• A small aside here:  when one cat barfs, why does another cat want to eat it?  I just had to ask.  This is a constant source of inquiry in our household.  But I digress.
• Have you heard the expression "What would Jesus do?"?  If Jesus were around these days, I have some ideas about what he would do.  First, he would smoke a doobie and eat mac & cheese.  Then he would do some yoga and marry a gay couple.  I think he would get naked at the beach and go surfing.  He would do these things to attract people to him in order to hear his message.  His message of love, understanding, peace, and tolerance.  What a concept.
• Oh, and Jesus would probably make sure that chickens, pigs, and cows are all humanely treated.  So there.  (childish gesture)
• And Jesus would vote Democratic.  Actually, I don't know that for sure, but it sounds good.
• I have a question that I seriously want someone to try to answer for me:  what is the deal with the Log Cabin Republicans?  This is like having an organization called "Pets for Early Euthanasia".  I just don't get it.

Okay, that's it for today's furballs.  Anyone out there?

      

Okay folks, the fight continues.  The Prop 8 folks think that by passing an amendment to the California constitution that we gay rights people will simply go quietly into the night.  Or into the closet.  Or wherever.  Nope - not even close.  Check out the protests that have been going on the last two nights in Los Angeles, and there is one planned in Long Beach tonight.  I wish I could go, but I have to work.  Damn!

There is a petition being circulated to be sent to Gov. Schwarzenegger to re-open the issue.  And several court cases have been filed over the issue now that the proposition has passed.  I predict that a Pandora's box of legal issues has been opened that will ultimately result in gay marriage being legal in the state of California.  It may take a while, but it will happen.  It took time for interracial marriages and other forms of discriminatory practices to be removed from the laws of this state through both court challenges and legislative action, but it did happen, and it will in this case.

I was sad at first when Prop 8 passed, but now I have worked through that and just feel angry and want to get back to work to make it right.  I'm especially angry at church organizations that have encouraged their congregations to vote for this because of their beliefs in "traditional" marriage.  The degree to which some of these churches have lent their support and infrastructures to the cause of passing this proposition should call into question their role as a faith-based organization, and thus their tax exempt status.  But who am I to judge this?  I'm just a blogger - who happens to have an accounting degree and read the tax exemption guidelines for churches!

Let's talk for a minute about the word "traditional".  I'm sick and tired of this word being thrown around like it is the holy grail of desirability in terms of marriage.  I looked up the definition, and it means "the passing down of elements of a culture from generation to generation" or "a mode of thought or behavior followed by a people continuously from generation to generation".  Okay, let's think about this for a minute.  So if traditions are a good thing, as in marriage, that means we don't want things to change from generation to generation, right?  I think we all know where I'm going with this, don't we?  Of course we want change over time.  Change is good - we live in a changing, evolving world.  Change has brought better living to our world - better health care, transportation, sanitation, communication, living conditions - the basic human condition has been vastly improved over time by change.  So to say that we must cling to traditions just because they are "traditions" - this simply makes no sense.  Unless your religion specifies it.  In that case, your church simply can stick with whatever "tradition" it chooses.  The law of this land cannot dictate that due to religious freedom.  But the laws itself should not be subject to "tradition".

My angry fingers hurt.  I'm signing off.

      

It is with mixed emotion today that I write after the election is over.  On one hand, the nation has shown that we can look past race and elect a man of color to the highest office of the land.  Time will tell if he is the best man for the job.  I for one believe he was the best choice on the ballot and voted for him.  I still am amazed that in the primary, it came down to a woman and an African-American man on the Democratic side.  And then the country elected the African-American man!  We have come a long way.

At least in some areas we have.  In California, various religious groups got out the vote and put Proposition 8 on the ballot and it passed, putting marriage out of reach for gays and lesbians.  This is a step backwards for basic civil rights.  The amazing thing is that the vote was very close - much closer than the last time it was voted on just a few years ago.  The arguments for banning gay marriage simply don't hold water.  Here in California, we have domestic partnerships, so folks say it is "separate yet equal".  Sound familiar?  Think bathrooms and drinking fountains in the South.  It's just all very sad and depressing.  I don't know how to discuss this issue with anyone who says that marriage is a tradition of "man and woman".  What is a tradition?  A legal arrangement?  A religious arrangement?  What?  We are talking about civil law here.  Why does it have to be different?

Some of what I saw during this whole Prop 8 campaign disgusted me.  The Mormon church used its vast resources to get behind this proposition, as did other church organizations.  Why are we not pulling their tax exempt status for this type of behavior?  Part of their argument against gay marriage was that they would lose their tax exempt status if they didn't perform gay marriages, so why do we allow them to do politicking without repercussions?  Why do they use their vast monetary and manpower resources for this kind of work instead of doing social good, like building houses, ministering to the sick and elderly, and clothing the poor?  Isn't that why they are tax exempt - so they can use their income for good works?  Think of all of the good the millions of dollars could have done that went into this campaign.  Unbelievable.

As for teaching marriage in schools, I don't think marriage should be taught in schools at all, straight or gay.  Let parents teach that at home or church.  Sexual education, both birth control and abstinence, can be taught in school, but keep marriage out of it.  Today is both a happy day for our nation, but a sad day for California as the true colors of discrimination shine through.

      

Today is election day, and the excitement I feel is almost like Christmas.  I had trouble sleeping last night because I couldn't wait to see how things were going to turn out today.  I do have class today, so that will keep me busy most of the afternoon.  I'm going to get myself dressed and start standing in line at my polling place here in the next hour or so.  According to the news, the lines are long.  Supposed to be a record turn out here on the left coast.  It's so exciting!  I was talking to a 19 year old woman that I work with - this is her first presidential election.  She is very up on the issues.  I was so impressed, and I told her so.  We are on the cusp of major change in our country.  Shattering the glass ceiling in one way or another - either the first African-American president, or woman vice-president (although I hope not the latter).

So please go VOTE!