I have a dilemma.  It seems that some people I know have different opinions than I do.  How can that be?  I know my opinions are well thought out and logical.  How can someone think differently?

Unfortunately, too many people think that way these days.  And no one seems to care about the opposing opinions, except to have an opportunity to argue with one another.  I like having discussions that involve rational thought and consideration for new information and other's opinions.  But that simply doesn't seem to happen that much anymore.

So I am learning to shut up.  It's not an easy task for me.  For years, I didn't think my opinion counted (this is not therapy by blog, so let's not explore why I felt that way).  So now that I have an opinion, I want everyone to know about it and enjoy it's wonderfulness.  Whether it's gay marriage, abortion, religion, politics, gun control - I can say something about it.

Facebook is a forum for everyone to share their opinions in small textual bites.  And sometimes the things I see make me cringe.  I made the mistake of responding to a friend's opinion, and I got a rather curt response.  I'm thinking a face to face discussion would have been a better idea.  So now I'm just plain shutting up.  This person has some opinions which obviously don't agree with mine, so I'm just not going to go there.  Does it shade my view of this person?  I would lying if I said it didn't.  But I think my reaction is more to the curtness, not the actual opinion expressed.

We seem to be a country invested in doing small things rapidly without fully exploring all sides.  This is true in politics, religion, and living life in general.  Multi-tasking is practically worshiped even though it has been proven that the brain can't really do two things at once.  We are a nation of distraction, not involvement.

Excuse me now, I have to go distract myself with some mindless television.

      

During this time of year, most folks are feeling mellow and sweet just because the holidays can be so wonderful.  I usually am, but this year I'm feeling a bit grouchy.  So I decided to list my pet peeves - at least the ones that I currently have.  Maybe that will put me in a different frame of mind before Christmas gets here.  So here goes:

1. I detest "mood lighting" in public bathrooms.  What's up with that?  When I'm using the bathroom, I prefer to be able to see really well what I am getting into.  Sometimes I think that they design the low lights to hide dirt.  And who goes to the bathroom to get into the mood anyway?  Turn up the lights please!
2. I get really cranky when I am following someone who is driving slow when I'm in the mood to go fast.  And I get equally cranky when someone is tailgating me when I'm in the mood to drive slow.
3. I really don't like to talking to people who only talk about themselves.  I'm pretty interesting, I think.  Ask me what I'm up to.  I'll try to entertain.
4. My dog irritates me.  He needs to eat, go outside, and he barks and whines.  His biggest crime?  He's not a cat.
5. Sales people who talk incessantly bother me.  Give me some information, then give me time to think.  If you bombard me, I am more inclined to walk away.  Even if it is a good deal.  And please laugh at my jokes.  I'm spending money, so that should buy at least a giggle.
6. I get irritated by people who don't answer the question that is asked of them.  We've all met these folks.  You ask them what color the sky is, and they will tell you that the grass is green.  Most politicians fall into this category.
7. Why do doctors think they know more about me than I know?  Okay, yes, they are highly trained in the medical field.  But I am highly trained in living inside my body.  I know what I know, regardless of what a doctor's education tells him.
8. I really don't like people who are not appreciative.  However, I'm beginning to sound like one.

That's it for now.  Happy Holidays!

      

Despite the odds, our solar array is officially installed.  I'm sure some of the HOA board members still aren't happy, but I really don't care.  My spouse is constantly teasing me because I like to watch the electric meter run backwards during the day.  And today is our first rain since the installation, and NO LEAKS!  It's the simple pleasures in life, don'tcha think?  So the water-wise landscaping is done, solar is in - now on to the big project.  Ripping out the walls downstairs.  We are still working on getting the final plans drawn and through an engineering review.  But it seems under control at this point.

Our holidays will be spent packing everything on our first floor to be sent to storage for the duration of the project.  I do mean everything:  furniture, dishes, pictures, decorations.  It's like moving, but we are only going to the master bedroom for a few months.  We are literally going to be stuffed in three rooms, cooking in a microwave in the bathroom.  I think the cats may be okay, but we may kill the dog during the process.  Me and the wife?  Hopefully we will still like each other after this is all over.

The fun thing (at least it seems like it right now) is the shopping list we need to complete for the project.  Cabinets, appliances, hardware, flooring, paint, fabrics, lighting - you name it, we have to select and purchase it.  Even down to the baseboards and toilet seat.  It's funny the things we already know we want (I have the toilet seat already selected) and the things we aren't sure about (maple or cherry cabinets?).  I keep telling myself:  it's a process, it's supposed to have a lot of unknowns at this point.  The holidays seem like a distraction right now.  But I'm getting some cool stuff, I think, so opening some presents between now and demolition day is something I think I can handle.

      

As most of you know, I tend to be a bit on the liberal side of the political line.  I got shoved there by the right wing crazies out there.  But some of my notions tend to go down the other side of the fence.  For instance...

We are doing a bunch of remodeling to our single family home.  No big deal, right?  Absolutely, as long as we get all the right signatures from folks who can really tell us whether what we are doing is okay.  Big Brother, alive and well.

First, there is our homeowner's association.  We got them to sign off on our new landscaping, but now that we have finished it, a few of them aren't so sure about our "no sod" look.  We like it:  no more "mow & blow" expenses (you know what I'm talking about), and our water usage is going way down because our yard only has drought resistant plants.  No, it doesn't look like desert terrain.  But it does look strikingly different from the rest of the neighborhood, yet it is tasteful and attractive.  In drought ridden California, you would think everyone would jump on board.  Then we had to get their approval to put solar panels on our roof.  The laws in California basically say they can't stop us, but one board member tried to throw enough stones in our path so that we might just go away.  He was worried that the glare off the panels might blind someone on the street and cause an accident.  In spite of assurances that the panels have an anti-glare coating, and the physics of light waves simply didn't support that problem.  They finally signed off, but the hoops were silly to say the least.

Then there are the building codes and the permits that have to be obtained from the city.  Like anything they say is going to prevent us from hiring and implementing crappy work from a bad contractor.  Okay, so maybe they will keep us from doing anything that infringes on our neighbors.  But even that is a tad overboard.  They are telling us how far from our property line we can build - even when we have NO neighbors in back of us.  It's a wide open greenbelt.  Why should they care???

So as we continue to pursue putting money into our ailing economy, we will keep up the good fight to get those who need to bless us to wave their hands over us in affirmation.  Where is a priest when you need one?

      

In November of last year, I blogged about my Assemblyman Michael Duvall and and an email message I received from him about the "undemocratic" protests of the those of us who were against the passage of proposition 8.  Mr. Duvall has been an avid supporter of denying the GLBT community marriage equality, to the point that he put the existing same sex marriages in quotes.

Apparently same sex marriage has not been the downfall of Mr. Duvall's political career, or put him in bed with other women outside his marriage.  Or as he is now known in the blogosphere "Spanky Duvall" (watch the video).  He was able to get into bed with these women, presumably without any gay people pushing him there.  Caught in a sex scandal where he admits on an open mike to sleeping with a lobbyist, he resigns in less than 24 hours.  Besides the obvious hypocritical nature of this family values champion, I am amazed that he doesn't see the obvious conflict of interest in sleeping with a lobbyist who has interest in front of a committee on which he serves!

This is what it is like to live behind the Orange Curtain.  Me and my wife are living quietly, paying our taxes, keeping up our property, and being good neighbors.  And this guy is sleeping around and being unethical, while trying to deny rights to my GLBT community.  My daddy told me life ain't fair, but really.  This is just ridiculous.

      

I've talked a bit about the effects that I think that Topamax has had on my cognitive functioning.  I've also had a chance to consult with an expert in the field of neuropsychology about how the brain and mind works during the aging process.  Here is a surprise (no joke here) - the brain starts slowing down as early as our 30's!  That simply sucks.  I mean really - isn't that kind of a cruel joke?  Just when I get smart enough and have enough experience, my mind can no longer keep up with it all?  I've always said that about physical energy.  It always seemed like energy was wasted on 2 and 3 year-olds.  Think of what a 50-year-old could do with that energy.  The world would be a different place.  So now I have to face the reality that my mind works slower than it did 20 years ago.  Just plain sucks.

This is so obvious to me being in a college environment.  These kids are physically and cognitively agile.  Some of them choose to use it to the fullest extent.  Others are a tad lazy.  Then I see us middle-agers, trying harder to keep up.  As my father (who now has dementia) has said to me "life simply is not fair".

So in my world, I lean back and reflect on what I have that the whipper-snappers don't have.  My car runs and is paid off.  I have a beautiful home and a small mortgage.  I am financially secure.  I know who I am in so many ways that I didn't know when I was 25.  I don't have to worry about getting pregnant.  Or not getting pregnant (take your pick).  I can afford to go out to eat just about anywhere I choose.  I am secure enough in myself that I don't need to shop to make myself look, feel, act, or in anyway seem better.  I'm not afraid to change my mind about my opinions on important issues.  I know my flaws, and although I don't like them, I've learned to live with most of them.

The moral of this story is that there is some parts of being in my 20's that I would like back.  But what I have achieved in knowledge and experience in my life, I would never trade in.  But damn, I wish I could still go through my day without wanting a nap!

      

And the plot thickens...

The day after my wife's Facebook account got hacked (see previous entry), we scrambled to protect ourselves on all of our other accounts across the virtual world.  And being the good internet citizen, I reported the problem to Facebook security.

What is the thanks I get for this?  They disable MY Facebook account with no explanation.  I received an email that said my account had been compromised and that I should change the password.  Oh, and I should reply to their email with my security word in the email.  Now that is just plain wrong.  I have NEVER heard of entering a security word into an email.  This looks like an email from the hacker.

So again, I sent a copy of this to Facebook security.

No reply.  The big Facebook wall.  Now I know why they call it a "wall" on Facebook.  Because it is just a big computer.  There are no people there to take care of actual problems.  I'm not sure I should be into this anymore, but I'm kind of addicted at this point.  I keep up with a lot of my friends this way.  It's a conundrum.

      

This is from the bizarro file.  This morning I was wasting my usual amount of time on Facebook when the chat window popped up from my spousal unit.  This is interesting for a number of reasons:  she rarely gets on Facebook, she is currently out of town playing golf, and she never calls me by my first name (which "she" did in the chat window).  I simply couldn't imagine her standing on a tee box at the 10th tee musing "I wonder what my PK is doing at home?  I'll use Facebook to find out!"  Like I said, she doesn't use Facebook at home, much less on her Blackberry.  So I called the bluff of the phisher:

Spouse:

Hey PK

8:28amPK

hi

what are you doing on FB?

8:29amSpouse

we are in need of help that why came on here for help

not good at the moment

8:30amPK

call me

8:30amSpouse

ouch all cell phone as being stolen away from us by the robbers

8:31amSpouse

we have being in big shit in London by the robbers

Would have been funny if it wasn't scary.  So this morning has been about shutting down the Facebook account and protecting ourselves in other ways.  So if you are on Facebook, beware.  The phishers are lurking.

      

We recently started a remodeling job on our house.  I didn't know this at first, but we started on the outside for a reason - to get used to the noise and dust gradually before we move it indoors.  I'm learning a whole new way of speaking and listening that requires subtitles and translation.  Don't get me wrong, I've done some projects in the past, so I have some notion how contractors work.  But I've never done a project this large.  When a contractor says, or doesn't say something, I'm beginning to learn that it speaks volumes.  Here are some examples:

1. "It's a family owned business." - This means that one person in the family is the only one left in the business - generally the meanest, biggest pain in the butt that none of the other family members could deal with anymore so they all got out and are now working at the local grocery store.
2. "Please check our references." - They give you a cherry-picked list of people to call who are probably relatives that were never part of the business (why do they all have the same last name?).  These are relatives that the contractor has yet to piss off.  They built the relative/reference a new closet for free, and now they are qualified to over-exaggerate their praises.
3. "That isn't a service we offer, but we can refer you to someone."  - Translation:  "Don't you know who we are?  We wouldn't touch that kind of work with a 10-foot pole.  We know a schmoe who will do it for almost nothing, but you get what you pay for."
4. "We supervise all of our subcontractors." - I worked with an interior designer once that "supervised" by calling the subcontractors but never showed up at the jobsite.  So she had no idea what kind of mess was created or left behind each night when they left.  She got a LOT of crabby phone calls from me.  I particularly like the tile guy she sent with his pit bull tied to the front door.  Charming.
5. "We are pet friendly." - I think this means they won't nail gun the cats to a wall if they get in the way, but after that, all bets are off.

Okay, this makes me sound a bit pessimistic, and we are just barely getting started on the project.  Let's just say that I've had some interesting experiences in the past (I once criticized a painter for painting over dust & dirt, and he suddenly left the job site for a "painting emergency").  This time around, I am spending quite a bit of time on "due diligence" - checking the Better Business Bureau, verifying licenses, bonding, insurance, and we joined Angie's LIst to make sure we aren't getting any real duds.

So wish us luck.  I've got my noise cancelling earphones.  And my sedatives and Aleve.  I'm ready.

      

I have written a little about my father having health issues.  His problems stem from a syndrome in which is his involuntary nervous system slowly stops functioning which causes all kinds of problems, including shrinkage of the brain and dementia that results from that.  Because of his high level of intelligence, he was able to "fake" his sanity for quite a while whenever he talked to health and emergency professionals.  This includes the police which he occasionally called to the house when he was delusional.  He is now in full-time skilled nursing care because his physical and mental functioning has deteriorated to the point that my mother cannot care for him.  He still insists nothing is wrong with him, but is no longer able to convince anyone of this.

I have recently had some experiences that have helped me to understand my father's mindset.  I feel very fortunate to have inherited both of my parents' intelligence.  I've done well in school over the years, and understanding abstract concepts has normally been a skill I have excelled at accomplishing.  Math, spelling, and grammar never gave me much problems.  Until the last few years.

I took several standardized tests that required me to brush up on my math skills back in 2002 and another one around 2003, and breezed through all of them - no problems.  Recently, I tried to brush up on my math skills to take the GMAT, and nothing was working correctly in my head.  The simplest arithmetic concepts not only were no longer in my head, but I couldn't refresh them and make them "stick".  I had been noticing in the past few years that remembering things - simple things - like my zip code, or how to spell words, or even a word I wanted to use in a sentence - would often elude me.  Sometimes I thought I was going nuts.  The amount of study effort that it required for me to succeed in my college classes was much higher than it used to be.  Plus, I was listening much slower than I used to.  But I chalked it up to menopausal brain fog.  And the fact that technology was simply speeding up people around me.  But I worried that I was getting early dementia like my father!

One of the classes I recently completed was Anatomy & Physiology.  We studied how neurotransmitters work inside the brain.  That made me wonder if any medication could cause this change in cognitive function that I was experiencing.  Low and behold, I discovered that a medication that I started taking several years ago, Topamax, indeed has a known set of side effects of impairing memory and cognitive function (like spelling and word recall).  Unfortunately, part of the problem is I can't remember when the symptoms started and I can't remember when I started taking the medication to know if the two absolutely correlate with one another.

I can honestly say that I have not had any severe migraines since I started taking the medication, but if the cost is that I can no longer function at my peak intelligence, then the cost is too high.  I'll take a few headaches and mood swings for the ability to solve a polynomial, thank you.